Single People Deserve Good Knives with Shani Silver Artwork

Circling the Drain

A podcast about the period BEFORE you stop getting your period. The concept of a woman "circling the drain" conjures up negative imagery for some, but the origin of this as the name of the podcast has a story. A friend, in her 30's at the time, was listing her ailments to a male physician who clearly had a terrible bedside manner, because he responded to her complaints by shrugging his shoulders in a dismissive fashion and saying something like, "I don't know what to tell you. From now on, you're basically just circling the drain!" Co-hosts Ellie and Julia have been laughing at the audacity of this tone-deaf interaction ever since, and when they decided to start this podcast about the plight of the aging woman, they chose to reclaim and repurpose the phrase in the spirit of humor. Every human on the planet is circling the drain from the moment we are born. The question is, how slowly and gracefully can we spiral? And can we minimize the discomfort while we whirl? Perimenopausal co-hosts Ellie and Julia take a deep dive into the sometimes embarrassing, often hilarious, and always bewildering issues of the hormonal changes that take place in midlife. Through honest accounts, thoughtful interviews, and group panel discussions, their mission is to make you chuckle, make you nod your head in recognition, and hopefully make some scientific progress.

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Circling the Drain

Single People Deserve Good Knives with Shani Silver

July 19, 2023 • Ellie Dvorkin Dunn & Julia Granacki with Shani Silver • Season 3 • Episode 54

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Singlehood is not a broken state that requires fixing. This is the core message of our guest, Shani Silver, who deleted her dating apps in 2019 and has been infinitely happier ever since. Shani reminds us that dating apps are a for-profit industry that stand to benefit from keeping you single rather than helping you find love, and they often deplete your self worth and mental health. Author of the fantastic book A Single Revolution: Don't Look for a Match. Light One. and host of A Single Serving Podcast, Shani firmly believes that you can enjoy your life as a single human while still hoping for a partnership. But this episode is not just for the singles out there! Shani helps people in couples reframe how they view their single friends and family members, and as a result of reading her book, we have personally stopped asking questions like "How's dating life?" or "Can I please fix you up with someone?" Shani offers zero apologies for living her life exactly as she wants to, and we offer zero apologies for Ellie's graphic colonoscopy story and Julia's description of her nuclear meltdown. Love us as we are or don't love us at all, but do listen to the episode and share it with your people.

Topics and timestamps
15:05 - Shani tells us the wildest thing a doctor ever said to her
15:05 - Shani tells us the wildest thing a doctor ever said to her.
17:49 - Dating apps are a for-profit industry. Here's why you should delete them.
22:30 - How to maintain your self-worth and dignity in a society that shames singles.
28:44 - How to reframe your mindset about the hell-scape that is dating.
34:00 - Dispelling the notion that your life isn't real until you have a partner.
47:45 - A person can embrace their single-hood while hoping for a partner.

Handles and sites
Shani's website
Shani's show: A Single Serving Podcast
Buy Shani's book: A Single Revolution: Don't look for a match. Light one.
Shani's Insta
Shani's TikTok

List of Resources Mentioned
Tubal Ligation No Better Than IUD at Preventing Pregnancy
The Mob Should Run Planned Parenthood
Why Many Single Women Without Children Are So Happy
The Other 50% Podcast

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People on this episode

Ellie Dvorkin Dunn

Co-host

Julia Granacki

Co-host